Alamak, twenty very expensive cows!

UMNO lembu

Whew, that is undoubtedly an unparalleled achievement by the Umno/BN government thus far. It has successfully created a new world record in breeding the most expensive cows, not only in the world but in the history of mankind if not the universe! And it is not just one but twenty! Malaysia is now envied by the rest of the developing world! The rest of the world could be jealous too. Don’t play, play!

Let’s see, RM250 million divided by 20 is RM12.5 million. Yes, RM12.5 million per cow. And that is why, Datuk Seri Dr Mohamad Salleh Ismail, chairman of the NFC has given explicit instructions to take care of the cows as good as the workers could and not selling them off. He has a RM250 million reason.

The farm is now full of overgrown shrubs and bushes may be to hide the cows from preying eyes. Many thieves could have tried to steal them. The cows could have been insured too.

Other than that, what could be done with these cows and the NFC farm?

First of all, come 31st August this year why not put the cows on parade? Attach some paraphernalia on each cow, with long fake eye lashes and don’t forget the lipstick too. Let the whole world see. The rights for live telecast should be auctioned to the highest bidder. The NFC could generate extra income.

Let Datuk Shahrizat walk side by side with her husband flanked by their children on both sides. After all, people would like to see who are behind this huge phenomenon.

Then the NFC farm could be converted into a zoo of some sort. Students and the general public could be taught on how to produce and breed expensive cows. Pssst, this is the NFC trade secret, don’t let the world know about the technique.

The NFC could hold a competition to name the cows. But I am afraid some Umno big shot might want to name them after the Malay rulers. However, I would suggest them to be named after our six prime ministers and may be one of their wives, say 1.FLOM.

Then if the NFC could let the plants in the farm to grow thicker and huge enough, and with another huge grant from the Umno/BN government we could have our own version of the Malaysian Jurassic Park.

But the cows have to be very huge and maybe who knows, by now the government may have secretly produced some kind of serum to make the cows grow as big as T-Rex, and may be bigger. And again who knows, we do have some excellent research facilities to produce the serum funded by the funds from Cayman Islands!   Well, that then will be another out of this world record for the park and Malaysian dinosaurs!

By then the US could be humbled by Malaysia, because while they are able to produce dinosaurs only in the movies, Malaysia has the real ones. By the way for your information, the long scientific name would be ‘chordata artiodactyla bovidae bos taurus malaysiensis’. Joe Biden would be flabbergasted and even approve the revamped Sedition Act.

Let the Malaysian Jurassic Park become crowded and when there is no more space, open up another one in Cameron Highlands. That will resolve all the grievances and issues pertaining to the destruction of the highlands.

See, after all the RM250 million Gemas NFC debacle is not necessarily a waste as many critics especially the opposition and in particular Rafizi Ramli had pointed out.

The people who voted for the government could eventually feel very proud, that their votes are not wasted. After all 1Malaysia Boleh!


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