AN EXCELLENT JOB?

Could one very important interview be as follows;

Q: If you had to put your finger on what’s been going on in Malaysia for the past few months especially during these few weeks, how would you do so Sir?

Sir: Well.. You just can’t talk about one thing. There’s a combination of a number of things which have been in the news and of course, you try to correct and try to resolve it each day and get a little bit better here and there, at home like doing a-walk-about in KL, taking a bicycle ride, attending concerts, watch football with the fans and officiating the Kedai 1Malaysia and abroad meeting the Pope, like leaving for Sydney during the holidays, then fly to Kazakhstan,., then perform the Hajj and fly to Hawaii. And I make it my rule not to have any disputes with my deputy and not to irritate my mentor, ex-mentor really.

Q: Well Sir, let me be more straightforward. Have you been at the core of the events in Malaysia, like Bersih, LGBT, Auditor-General Report, especially the NFC debacle, the National Debt and the situation in Greece and Italy?

Sir: As I have highlighted earlier, you can’t talk about one thing… you see…. despite all the events we have become a mature democracy because we allowed dissent, and the LGBT has grown to a bigger group, we allow them to grow bigger and that is their right, the audit report has shown that the government is transparent, and the NFC is not a debacle as all have been defended by Noh Omar, the cows are very special and expensive, they are not ordinary cows, they are meant for the up-markets and Khairy has also explained in detail, (off the records please…. I will give him a very special post outside the cabinet when the time comes, again..he.he.) and Shahrizat has done a very good job, she has the business sense to invest in a condominium too.

Where was I… oh, as for our national debt, it is peanuts compared to the US….do you know that the US has the highest debt in the world?…..and what about Greece and Italy…please let us just discuss about Malaysia here and no need to digress to Greece and Italy.

Q: If I may interrupt you there for a second Sir, When I mentioned Greece and Italy, I mean what about us, what about Malaysia Sir, many people have warned us that Malaysia can go bankrupt, after all Idris Jala has already warned us twice.

Sir:  Idris Jala as you know has done his job to produce the KPIs and it is done. I still maintain him in the cabinet so that he can do something to occupy his time, if not it would be difficult for him to find a job in the corporate world..not like Tony.

Q: I am sorry again Sir, what I meant was our country’s debt and financial situation, don’t you think we are another Greece in the making?

Sir: Ohh..that… Yes, Malaysia is another Greece in the making, as we will be the top tourist soon and I am very happy and satisfied with what Dr.Ng Yen Yen has done so far, with the RM10 billion Monsoon Cup, extra RM270 million on very successful advertisement and of course we have a lot of hits on the Tourism Ministry’s website..and everyone knows we have many tourist coming from China and Africa now and the Bangladeshis are coming by truckloads here.. I have had some understanding with the Bangladesh prime minister a few months back.

Q: (Sigh) Oh my God…. Sir, let us move forward than. Since you have mentioned Bangladeshis, is it true that the government is now in the midst of giving automatic citizenship to the Bangladeshis?

Sir: No, no, never, who told you that, this is preposterous and not true at all. It is the lies fabricated by the opposition. I categorically deny that the Bangladeshis are being given the citizenship as purported by the oppositions… They have nothing else to do but argue and find all the mistakes and faults done by the government.. I was told by my cousin, that there are written requests and letters of support not for the Bangladeshis but for the Indonesians to be given the citizenship.

Q: So are you saying that the giving of automatic citizenship is true?

Sir: No, no, I did not say that, did I? I only said what my cousin told me and only for the Indonesians.

Q: Never mind Sir. Let us go to another more serious matter now. When do you plan to dissolve parliament since 11.11.11 is now gone…

Sir: I will announce when the time is ripe; when the one in the Datuk T video is in jail, when the ministry of defence has been able to procure some expensive military hardware and we have to analyze the sentiments of the rakyat, the grass roots, the UMNO leaders, the SB, the Indian fortuneteller-ji and the consent from the FLOM. I hope I have done a very excellent job for the country and the people will continue voting for BN.

Q: I am sorry Sir but, I don’t think you have done an excellent job.

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